Friday, October 29, 2010

A video about Mcdonalds french fries (for Brittany)

(skip to 1:15)...

Brittany in the bathtub!

laughter and tears!

"charlie and spike are two kittens with myotonia congenita, otherwise known as 'fainting goat' syndrome. at the slightest sound, the kittens respond by collapsing and falling into a rigid paralysis which lasts about a minute before they return to normal. This condition has hardly ever before been diagnosed in a cat, is rarely found in dogs and is more common in goats. The kittens are able to walk, but they cannot run or jump. aside from this they are normal. sad to report that the black and white kitten (spike) died on 27th october from respiratory failure"

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

photo phun


okay so we're all pretty clear on the sev's noon-midnight any size coffee/latte/hotchoc/cappuccino deal for 99 cents. my point is: if this limited time offer doesn't end soon i might die.

it started with the medium coffees around 1 pm for just $1.04 (tax included) that's like 1/3 the price of most independent places around our hood. then i moved up a size: large. it was still $1.04. so then i figured i could get the XL just in case i needed more than a large. still $1.04. then i switched to hazlenut flavour. still $1.04. then came the day that everything changed. i saw a man using the cappuccino machine. now, having been a barista, i am fully aware of the value of real espresso and the tradition of an excellent pour and smooth foam, but my curiosity got the best of me. i walked over to the machine. it smelled pretty good. i noticed the sticker on the machine '99 CENTS FOR ANY TEA/COFFEE/HOT CHOCOLATE'. could it be? did the cappuccinos count as a 99 cent coffee? i looked at the flavours:


i felt my heart pound. i could just get a small. just a small one. my hands were shaking as i shifted the empty 8 oz cup from spout to spout, unable to decide on a flavour, but more importantly, unable to take that gluttonous leap. i pressed on the glowing green button. hot syrupy sugar poured out from the french vanilla spout. i quickly put the lid on and walked to the counter. even if it was too good to be true and not included in the 99 cent deal, at least i had the smallest size and at least it would mean i could never indulge again. the register flashed. 1 FUCKING 0 FUCKING 4. it was offically over.
it became a daily habit. then an addiction. bumping up the size from small to large. then adding the mini marshmellows. then taking chugs in between pours because i couldn't wait long enough for the cup to fill up.
one time i put free coconut flakes on top of a hot chocolate / french vanilla hybrid. i knew i had gone too far.

in an attempt to break my addiction i decided to research the nutrition facts. this is what i have been consuming twice a day:

Nutrition Facts
Calories 559 (2336 kJ)
% Daily Value 1
Total Fat 12g 18%
Sat. Fat 8g 40%
Trans Fat 0g
Cholesterol 40mg 13%
Sodium 759mg 32%
Total Carbs. 103.8g 35%

i have tried to just bite the bullet and use the coffee machine in the studio + the timothy's coffee patricia gave us but it's not working. i keep thinking about the 99 cent deal. it's only a matter of time before i take on the chips ahoy or the reese's pieces. i beg of you. i need your help.
next time you go to the sev, don't notify me.
next time you bring home something from the sev, hide it from me.
next time i tell you i'm going to the sev, don't let me.

thanks for your support.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

so accurate

my asian heritage face recognition




The cake you deserved but never received!

Have you seen this butt?


The result of a summoning spell gone wrong we are now the unfortunate owners of this sorrowful creature. Yesterday afternoon someone left the door open and our little friend escaped. If you see her please get in touch through the blog. She is very shy but will come running if you are in possession of 7eleven snacks. we miss her very much.

No Reward.

Hello from Sexy Islands sexy beaches. This animation is called "Love."

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

stink eye

capturing our essences

my buddy mark peckmezian wants to shoot photographs of our whole household.

here are some portraits he has already taken:
me. zine dream hell. three sleepless nights. schramm's blood and semen. unwashed hair. XXL tim horton's coffee. cigarettes. blinding sun. something stuck in my eyeball.

adrienne. awesome.

you know you wanna

Promise rings to Politics

Brittany still won't wear her promise ring, she doesn't "wear fungus." Didn't know it was unhip--Fuligo septica, common name Dog's vomit slime mold--is that so hideous? Help me to understand! Just Put it on, girl. Make me a happy room mate, give me a Fecund bride, a spore whore. With gills, please.

Secondly, Who did this? What's S'n' D's?


spicing things up in the multiverse. sexy flavour text.

beast of burden