SCHRAMM IS RETURNING

EVERYTHING WILL RETURN TO IT'S REGULAR STATE OF INSANITY.

I go away for a few weeks and this shit totally stops. Seriously. What am I coming back to!?

so talented

skip to 2:58

MY GROCERY LIST GOT HIJACKED

Christmas Hip Hop

MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS BITCHES

heavy flow

ROOM 4 SHAME

melanie's sextrology

as requested. man these things are weirdly accurate, no?

MELANIE (STRAIGHT PISCES FEMALE)

KEYWORDS: love, illusion, euphoria, devotion, sacrifice, uncertainty, imagination, timelessness, reliance, contemplation, escape, delusion, transcendence, immobility, fascination.

TURN-ONS: father figures or young boys, sensitive men, androgynous looks, smooth bodies, swimmers/models, delicate features, bone structure, artists/poets/creatives, married men/homewrecking, extended foreplay, erotica/softcore, pillow talk, bisexuality/lesbian erotica, prostitute role play, flattery/seduction alcohol/narcotics.

house theme song?

what should our theme song be?

SEXTROLOGY

i have a really detailed and accurate horoscope book. along with physical, mental, sexual and spiritual descriptions of each sign separated into male/female/gay/straight it has a column of 'turn-ons'. THIS IS ACTUALLY WHAT IT SAYS! you can borrow it for further reading if you would like. here is everyone's list:

SCHRAMM (GAY VIRGO MALE)

KEYWORDS: vexation, neurosis, criticism, eccentricity, reclusion, disenfranchisement, generalization, didacticism, dissonance, fastidiousness.

TURN-ONS: submission, older men + executives, dress socks, straight men, teacher-student roleplay, theaters/backrooms, uncle fantasies, servants, enemas, debauchery/degradation, analingus, penetration, straight-sex voyeurism.

ADRIENNE (STRAIGHT ARIES FEMALE)

KEYWORDS: independence, nonconformity, prudence, diplomacy, feminism, detachment, austerity, energy, presence, artfulness, skill, fitness, mind, execution, competition, calculation.

TURN-ONS: younger men, swarthy looks, body hair: stubble/beards/moustaches, mutual masturbation, laborers/lumberjacks, male rape fantasies, male strippers/escorts, sweat, face sitting, large penises, big hands/meaty forearms.

CAROLYN (GAY CAPRICORN FEMALE)

KEYWORDS: faith, practice, distinction, thought, temperance, prudence, loyalty, discretion, haughtiness, concern, capriciousness, restriction, religion, aristocracy, authority, organization.

TURN-ONS: younger women, lean curvy bodies, long dark hair, extended foreplay, vanilla, thongs, demi-bras, mutual grooming, straight women, sober sex, afterplay/intimacy, erotica, multiple vaginal orgasms, feet/toes, casual sex, active lite discipline, breast play.

STEPHEN A.B. (STRAIGHT TAURUS MALE)

KEYWORDS: bliss, methodology, determination, composure, affection, truth, union, capability, incitement, beauty, magnetism, influence, allure, acumen, caution, relatedness, tenure.

TURN-ONS: older dominant females, solid bodies, short hair, slow sleepy sex, gymnasts/dancers, exhibitionism, bisexuality, stockings, wearing panties, cuddling/caressing, cuckolding other men, married women, hairy bushes, passive anal play.

SHITTANY (STRAIGHT LIBRA FEMALE)

KEYWORDS: idealism, art, honesty, design, independence, ornamentation, enlightenment, non-conformity, suffrage, democracy, romance, justice, strength, refinement, charm, confrontation.

TURN-ONS: younger men, artists/sensitives, smooth sculptural bodies, veiny forearms, 69, hairy muscular legs, europeans, long straight hair, bisexuality, sugar daddies, foursomes, quickies.

This happened when Brittany was still in high school

Group hug, We don't hug enough

it's so cozy up here

Carolyns other 2NDLIFE girlfriend (and she's under-age!)

MOAR

the end is nigh

enter at your own risk. there is no going back.

http://boards.4chan.org/b/

The artist asked me not to credit him

Dear Bog Mother,

please play Magic with us.

The Gather'er's.

And that's one special hot dog!

I found out who Carolyn is making love to in Second Life!

C.R.E.E.P

i always hated this movie as a child. and i knew it was because of falcor the dragon.

"i like children. thank you, SOOO GOOD."

so sweet

look what i found on the computer! man, sometimes blayne is just the greatest guy.

OH MY GOODNESS

OH AND P.S.

a little taste of what is to come.

Wish this was in our walls instead

PRUNE

put it on the pizza (box).

HEY STEVE: YOU OWE ME A BEER

Sigil of the Empty Throne: $1.58---$3.74

Whispersik Cloak: $0.35 X 3 = $1.05---$0.52 X 2 $1.04

Halimar Depths: $0.29---$0.75

War Priest of Thune: $0.30---$0.50

Kabira Crossroads: $0.18 X 2 = $0.36---$0.49 X 2 = $0.98

Negate: $0.19 X 2 = $0.38---$0.35

Sphinx of Magosi: $0.51---$1.59

Iona Shield of Emeria: $6.61---$8.48

Circe of Protection: Black: $0.15---$0.25

Eldrazi Conscription: $2.41---$5.23

Transcendent Master: $4.20 X2 = $8.40---$5.99 x 2 = $11.98

Glacial Fortress: $3.21---$4.49

Baneslayer Angel: $19.69---$28.60

Echo Mage: $0.76---$1.48

Devout Lightcaster: $0.63---$2.68

Journey to Nowhere: $0.18---$0.40

Lightkeeper of Emeria: $0.22---$0.79

Sunblast Angel: $1.71---$3.30

Celestial Mantle: $0.57---$1.61

Path to Exile: $4.31---$6.60

Mind Control: $0.20 X 2 = $0.40---$0.50 X 2 = $1.00

Celestial purge: $0.24---$0.50

Serra Ascendant: $3.07---$5.99

Armored Ascension: $0.20---$0.50

Gerrard's Wisdom: $0.32---$1.00

Platinum angel: $2.15----$3.99

Akroma's Memorial: $10.56---$12.99

Condemn: $0.60---$1.02

Death Ward: $0.18---$0.25

Calciform Pools: $0.33---$0.51

Revoke Existence: $0.14---$0.29

Celestial Colonnade: $4.89---$8.48

Pulse of the Fields: $1.10---$3.50

Seal of Cleansing: $0.30---$0.70

Discombobulate: $0.27---$0.79

Cryptic command$12.22 X 2 = $24.44---$15.73 X 2 = $48.88

Marshal's Anthem: $0.52---$1.64

Replenish: $9.43---$11.99

MIDRANGE TOTAL: $112.46

HIGH TOTAL: $189.06


FYI: you have 33/65 proxies that's 51% proxies. The other 49% is pretty much just basic land cards. 

RENT IS DUE!!!!!

im real sorry guys........

u guys have been real nice to me and stuff and i have been such a bad guest in ur home i hope u can find it in ur hearts to forgive me im pretty sure im a real nice dude when u get to kno me. dont give up on me plz :((((( for real, espeshialy you carolyn. dont give up on me ill be a gooder freind.

sinserely,

blayne

Adrienne and I leaving the house

my new boyfriend

has tits.

WHERE ARE THE CHEETOS

NEW MAGIC SONG

You can eat my food (pizza, peanut butter, etc.) but only if you take XXX pictures of yourself eating it and post them here.

Here is your inspiration: http://www.hotchickseatingpizza.com/page/1

seasons greetings

y'all are the ones who don't know things.

Happy Halloween!!

Good tunes.

A video about Mcdonalds french fries (for Brittany)

(skip to 1:15)...

Brittany in the bathtub!

laughter and tears!

"charlie and spike are two kittens with myotonia congenita, otherwise known as 'fainting goat' syndrome. at the slightest sound, the kittens respond by collapsing and falling into a rigid paralysis which lasts about a minute before they return to normal. This condition has hardly ever before been diagnosed in a cat, is rarely found in dogs and is more common in goats. The kittens are able to walk, but they cannot run or jump. aside from this they are normal. sad to report that the black and white kitten (spike) died on 27th october from respiratory failure"

photo phun

THE SEV

okay so we're all pretty clear on the sev's noon-midnight any size coffee/latte/hotchoc/cappuccino deal for 99 cents. my point is: if this limited time offer doesn't end soon i might die.

it started with the medium coffees around 1 pm for just $1.04 (tax included) that's like 1/3 the price of most independent places around our hood. then i moved up a size: large. it was still $1.04. so then i figured i could get the XL just in case i needed more than a large. still $1.04. then i switched to hazlenut flavour. still $1.04. then came the day that everything changed. i saw a man using the cappuccino machine. now, having been a barista, i am fully aware of the value of real espresso and the tradition of an excellent pour and smooth foam, but my curiosity got the best of me. i walked over to the machine. it smelled pretty good. i noticed the sticker on the machine '99 CENTS FOR ANY TEA/COFFEE/HOT CHOCOLATE'. could it be? did the cappuccinos count as a 99 cent coffee? i looked at the flavours:

FRENCH VANILLA
CHIPS AHOY CARAMEL CAPPUCCINO
REESE'S PIECES CAPPUCCINO

i felt my heart pound. i could just get a small. just a small one. my hands were shaking as i shifted the empty 8 oz cup from spout to spout, unable to decide on a flavour, but more importantly, unable to take that gluttonous leap. i pressed on the glowing green button. hot syrupy sugar poured out from the french vanilla spout. i quickly put the lid on and walked to the counter. even if it was too good to be true and not included in the 99 cent deal, at least i had the smallest size and at least it would mean i could never indulge again. the register flashed. 1 FUCKING 0 FUCKING 4. it was offically over.
it became a daily habit. then an addiction. bumping up the size from small to large. then adding the mini marshmellows. then taking chugs in between pours because i couldn't wait long enough for the cup to fill up.
one time i put free coconut flakes on top of a hot chocolate / french vanilla hybrid. i knew i had gone too far.

in an attempt to break my addiction i decided to research the nutrition facts. this is what i have been consuming twice a day:

Nutrition Facts
Calories 559 (2336 kJ)
% Daily Value 1
Total Fat 12g 18%
Sat. Fat 8g 40%
Trans Fat 0g
Cholesterol 40mg 13%
Sodium 759mg 32%
Total Carbs. 103.8g 35%

i have tried to just bite the bullet and use the coffee machine in the studio + the timothy's coffee patricia gave us but it's not working. i keep thinking about the 99 cent deal. it's only a matter of time before i take on the chips ahoy or the reese's pieces. i beg of you. i need your help.
next time you go to the sev, don't notify me.
next time you bring home something from the sev, hide it from me.
next time i tell you i'm going to the sev, don't let me.

thanks for your support.
brittany.

so accurate

my asian heritage

myheritage.com face recognition

PROOF THIS DOESN'T WORK

SHAME LIST

HAPPY BELATED SHITNEY!

The cake you deserved but never received!

Have you seen this butt?

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS TROLL?

OUR INTERNET TROLL IS MISSING!!!!
The result of a summoning spell gone wrong we are now the unfortunate owners of this sorrowful creature. Yesterday afternoon someone left the door open and our little friend escaped. If you see her please get in touch through the blog. She is very shy but will come running if you are in possession of 7eleven snacks. we miss her very much.


No Reward.

Hello from Sexy Islands sexy beaches. This animation is called "Love."

stink eye

capturing our essences

my buddy mark peckmezian wants to shoot photographs of our whole household.
http://www.markpeckmezian.com/Photographs.html

here are some portraits he has already taken:
me. zine dream hell. three sleepless nights. schramm's blood and semen. unwashed hair. XXL tim horton's coffee. cigarettes. blinding sun. something stuck in my eyeball.

adrienne. awesome.

you know you wanna

Promise rings to Politics

Brittany still won't wear her promise ring, she doesn't "wear fungus." Didn't know it was unhip--Fuligo septica, common name Dog's vomit slime mold--is that so hideous? Help me to understand! Just Put it on, girl. Make me a happy room mate, give me a Fecund bride, a spore whore. With gills, please.

Secondly, Who did this? What's S'n' D's?

sexy

spicing things up in the multiverse. sexy flavour text.

beast of burden

IT'S GONNA HAPPEN

SCHRAMM 4.0